


The Quiet Part

by wistfulpisces



Series: 221 Word Drabbles [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, POV John Watson, Pining, Pining John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 07:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13806006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulpisces/pseuds/wistfulpisces
Summary: John realises that other people in his life have begun to catch on to his previously private feelings, and immediately wishes he hadn't.





	The Quiet Part

I always worry that I’m in danger of making myself too obvious. Constant danger.

I remember Greg asking me how I was over drinks once. He seemed shifty and dissatisfied with my answer’s lean toward dismissively positive and suddenly, it hit me: _he knows._

I had to stop myself from fixating on it, obsessively wondering if everyone else in my life could see it, too. The thought of too-perceptive Molly’s bashful, pitying eyes made my stomach turn: I’d long since accepted, or perhaps convinced myself, that Sherlock was either oblivious or gracious enough to spare me the courtesy of ignoring it.

But the horror I felt when this particular revelation became apparent – it was like a curtain had dropped, throwing me from my sheltered bubble of haphazard infatuation, and allowing that part of me to assimilate into the other aspects of my life without my consent.

I wanted to keep it a secret for longer, just a little longer. The quiet part of loving someone seems so pure before anyone else knows about it, like a private, self-made safe haven.

Maybe I’d thought that if no one else knew, I could convince myself it was only a daydream. An extended fantasy that I slipped into during spare moments, conveniently separate from real life scrutiny.

It seemed inevitable that the mirage shattered.


End file.
